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Sunday, December 21, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

The service area was located on a main highway leading to the beach. The station attendant was accustomed to seeing tired and sunburned occupants in the cars that pulled in to gas up.

When a rusty old station wagon containing a very tired looking couple and seven screaming children pulled into his station, the attendant tried to make small talk to cheer up the occupants.

"Hope you have a good day at the beach! Nice looking kids there," he said. "Are they all yours or is this a picnic?"

Wearily, the wife, who was the driver, replied, "Yes they are all mine and no, this is NO picnic!"


Two professors were out enjoying the fresh air one day. They were talking about their profession and the best things about it.

One said, "I really get satisfaction from motivating young people. I also like to know that I'm helping shape the next generation and it's a real joy opening their young minds. I would have to say those are the three best things about teaching."

"I disagree," said the second. "For me, the three best things about teaching are June, July and August!"


The local golf course was haunted by an evil leprechaun who liked to exploit the ambitions of the poorer players. He would promise an improved ability to play the game in exchange for something really big, and then laugh at the unfortunate player's predicament.

One day, he popped up beside one golfer who was participating in a club competition.

"Look," he said, "I'll make a deal with you. If you agree never to court a woman, flirt with a girl or marry, I'll help you win."

"Done," said the golfer.

The leprechaun was very pleased with his conniving ways, and chuckled merrily. The golfer proceeded to play a perfect game and everyone was amazed.

When the golfer was in the clubhouse being praised by the other members, the leprechaun popped up on the shelf of the locker beside him. "Hey," he whispered, "I have to have your name for my records. What is it?"

The golfer grinned, straightened his collar and answered, "Father Murphy."

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