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Friday, December 19, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

A rancher applied for a loan at a bank.

"How much do you want to borrow?" asked the loan interviewer.

"Twenty-five thousand dollars."

"All right, but you'll have to show security. How many bulls do you have on your ranch?"

"Two hundred."

"That should be enough security. The loan is approved."

Several months later the rancher returned to the bank to repay the loan.

"Here's your money," he declared, peeling off bills from a huge bankroll.

"Well, sir, let me congratulate you on your sudden prosperity," said the interviewer, eying the bankroll. "And for safety's sake, may I suggest you deposit that extra money in our bank?"

Staring at him coldly, the rancher asked, "How many bulls do you have?"


Sue: "My husband has the worst memory I ever heard of."

Monica: "Forgets everything, eh?"

Sue: "No. Remembers everything."


An Army Ranger was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana.

He wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the Ranger shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and get my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes made at a reasonable price!"

The vendor said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you will run into a couple of Blondes who were in here earlier saying the same thing."

So, the Ranger headed into the bayou that same day.

A few hours later, he came upon two men standing waist deep in the water. He thought, "Those must be the two blondes the guy in town was talking about."

Just then, the Ranger saw a tremendously long gator swimming rapidly underwater towards one of the Marines.

Just as the gator was about to attack, the Marine grabbed its neck with both hands and strangled it to death with very little effort.

Then both blondes dragged it on shore and flipped it on its back. Laying nearby were several more of the creatures.

One of the Blondes then exclaimed, "Darn, this one doesn't have any shoes either!"

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