Humour: Procrastinator's Creed

1. I believe that if anything is worth doing, it would have been done
already.

2. I shall never move quickly, except to avoid more work or find
excuses.

3. I will never rush into a job without a lifetime of consideration.

4. I shall meet all of my deadlines directly in proportion to the
amount of bodily injury I could expect to receive from missing them.

5. I firmly believe that tomorrow holds the possibility for new
technologies, astounding discoveries, and a reprieve from my
obligations.

6. I truly believe that all deadlines are unreasonable regardless of
the amount of time given.

7. I shall never forget that the probability of a miracle, though
infinitesmally small, is not exactly zero.

8. If at first I don't succeed, there is always next year.

9. I shall always decide not to decide, unless of course I decide to
change my mind.

10. I shall always begin, start, initiate, take the first step, and/or
write the first word, when I get around to it.

11. I obey the law of inverse excuses which demands that the greater the
task to be done, the more insignificant the work that must be done
prior to beginning the greater task.

12. I know that the work cycle is not plan/start/finish, but is
wait/plan/plan.

13. I will never put off until tomorrow, what I can forget about
forever.

14. I will become a member of the ancient Order of Two-Headed Turtles
(the Procrastinator's Society) if they ever get it organized.