You're Old When...

• You can live without sex, but not without your glasses.

• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.

• You enjoy watching the news.

• The phone rings, and you hope it's not for you.

• The only reason you're still awake at 4 am is indigestion.

• You're proud of your lawnmower.

• You start singing along with elevator music.

• You really DO want a new washing machine for your birthday.

• You routinely check the oil in your car.

• You've owned clothes so long that they've come back into style - TWICE.

• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

• You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.

• 8 am is your idea of 'sleeping in'.

• You write thank you notes without being told.

• Neighbors borrow your tools.

• You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"

• Others ask for your recipes.

• You start Christmas shopping in August.

• You paint walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.

• You don't like to drive after dark.

• You say the words, "Turn that music down!" too often.

• You point out what buildings used to be where.

• You know all the warning signs of a heart attack.

• You rake the yard without being told to.

• You can't remember the last time you laid on the floor to watch television.

• The service station attendant lets you pump your gas before paying.