Funny One Liners...

1. I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I'm perfect.

2. I've got to sit down and work out where I stand.

3. If I save time, when do I get it back?

4. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

5. I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

6. Take my advice, I don't use it anyway.

7. The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.

8. As I said before, I never repeat myself.

9. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

10. I wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence.. there's a knob called brightness, but it doesn't work.

11. A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.

12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

13. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left! .

14. Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.

15. Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected ?