The Dating Dictionary for modern times

ATTRACTION - The act of associating horniness with a particular person.

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT - What occurs when two extremely horny, but not entirely choosy people meet.

DATING - The process of spending enormous amounts of money, time and energy to get better acquainted with a person whom you don't especially like in the present and will learn to like a lot less in the future.

BIRTH CONTROL - Avoiding pregnancy through such tactics as swallowing special pills, inserting a diaphragm, using a condom, and dating repulsive men.

EASY - A term used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man.

EYE CONTACT - A method utilized by one person to indicate that they are interested in another. Despite being advised to do so, many men have difficulty looking a woman directly in the eyes, not necessarily due to shyness, but usually due to the fact that a woman's eyes are not located in her chest.

FRIEND - A person in your acquaintance who has some flaw which makes sleeping with him/her totally unappealing.

INDIFFERENCE - A woman's feeling towards a man, which is interpreted by the man to be "playing hard to get".

INTERESTING - A word a man uses to describe a woman who lets him do all the talking.

IRRITATING HABIT - what the endearing little qualities that initially attract two people to each other turn into after a few months together.

LAW OF RELATIVITY - How attractive a given person appears to be is directly proportionate to how unattractive your date is.

NYMPHOMANIAC - A man's term for a woman who wants to have sex more often than he does.

SOBER - condition in which it is almost impossible to fall in love.