Can't find what you are looking for ?

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Funny: Some jokes (including an adult joke)

Chad nervously approached his girlfriend's father and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Scott, but there was something I wanted to ask you..."

"Well, of course, young man!" the proud father replied. "You have my full blessing. My daughter's happiness is all I want."

"Blessing, sir?" Chad stammered.

"Yes, of course. You want to marry my daughter, right?" Mr. Scott said.

"Uh, no sir, that's not it." said Chad. "Actually, my car payment is due, and I'm a little short until payday, and I wanted to know if I could borrow fifty dollars until Friday."

"Not a chance!" yelled Mr. Scott. "I hardly know you."


One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister's house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store. When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen,and inserted it into the turkey, and re-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, "Patricia, you've cooked a pregnant bird!" At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!


She was standing in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast, wearing only the T-shirt that she normally slept in.

As I walked in almost awake, she turned and said softly, 'You've got to make love to me this very moment.'

My eyes lit up and I thought, 'I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day.'

Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then gave it my all, right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, 'Thanks,' and returned to the stove, her T-shirt still around her neck.

A little puzzled, I asked, 'What was that all about?'

She explained, 'The egg timer is broken'.

No comments: