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Monday, November 10, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

A man went to see his doctor because he was suffering from a miserable cold. His doctor prescribed some pills, but they didn't help.

On his next visit the doctor gave him a shot, but that didn't do any good, either.

On his third visit the doctor told the man to go home and take a hot bath. As soon as he was finished bathing he was to throw open all the windows and stands in the draft.

"But doc," protested the patient, "if I do that, I'll get pneumonia."

"I know," said his physician, "I can cure pneumonia."


A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders but wasn't getting many.

Then he discovered the problem: a 10-year-old boy was standing by the road with a hand-painted sign which read, "RADAR TRAP AHEAD."

The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of change.


A woman went to the doctor asking for bigger breasts.

The doctor gave her the choice of either having an implant or wearing a special bra that inflates when you flap your arms up and down.

The woman chose the bra.

The next day she went to a bar to try out her new bra. She saw an attractive man sitting alone at the bar.

Flapping her arms, she strolled over to flirt with the man, who had started flapping his legs.

"I see we have the same doctor," he said.


A manager is told by his doctor that he has to take on some sport so he decides to play tennis. After a couple of weeks his secretary asks him how he's doing.

"It's going fine", the manager says, "When I'm on the court and I see the ball speeding towards me my brain immediately says: "To the corner! Back hand! To the net! Smash! Go back!"

"Really? What happens then?" the girl asks all enthusiastic.

"Then my body says: Who? Me? Don't talk nonsense!"

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