Funny: Some jokes

A guy walked into his friend's office, he found him sitting at his  desk, looking very depressed.

"Hey, what's up with you?", he asks.

"Oh, its my wife," replied the man sadly. "She's hired a new secretary for me."

"Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?"

"Neither, He's bald."

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An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down.

He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue, yellow, and purple. The old man stared at him. The young man said sarcastically, "What's the matter you old geezer, never done anything
wild in your life?"

Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son."

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Dear Future Son-in-Law,

I have been unable to sleep since I forced my daughter to break off her engagement to you. Will you forgive and forget?

I was much too sensitive about your orange Mohawk haircut, multiple tattoos, pierced nose and assorted rings in your ears, eyebrows and tongue.

I now realize motorcycles aren't really that dangerous, and I really should not have reacted that way to the fact that you have never held a job.

I am sure, too, that some other very nice people live under the bridge in the park.

Sure, my daughter is only 18 and wants to marry you instead of going to Harvard on a full-ride scholarship. After all, you can't learn everything about life from books.

I sometimes forget how backward I can be. I was wrong. I was a fool. I have now come to my senses and you have my full blessing to marry my daughter.

Your future Father-in-Law,

Jim

  

P.S.   Congratulations on winning the lottery!