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Sunday, November 9, 2014

Humor: Love Before and After Marriage

(Falling in love, serious relationship, etc.)

Before - You take my breath away
After - I feel like I'm suffocating

Before - She loves the way I take control of the situation
After - She says I'm a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before - Saturday Night Fever
After - Monday Night Football

Before - Don't stop! Don't stop!
After - Don't you start with me!

Before - The Sound of Music
After - The Sound of Silence

Before - Is that all you're having?
After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

Before - Wheel of Fortune
After - Jeopardy

Before - Nothing is too good for you
After - You spent *how* much??

Before - Turbo charged
After - Jump started

Before - We agree on everything!
After - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?

Before - Charming and Noble
After - Chernobyl

Before - Idol
After - Idle

Before - I love a woman with curves
After - I never said you were fat

Before - Oysters
After - Fishsticks

Before - He's completely lost without me
After - Why won't he ever ask for directions?

Before - Time stood still
After - This relationship is going nowhere

Before - Croissant and cappuccino
After - Bagel and instant

Before - I only have eyes for you
After - Do you have my "Victoria's Secret" catalog again?

Before - You look so seductive in black
After - Your clothes are so depressing

Before - Candy hearts and flowers
After - Onion rings and antacid

Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars
After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he's done...

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other
After - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you

Before - It's like I'm living in a dream
After - It's like he's living in a barn

Before - Passion
After - Ration

Before - Lucy and Ricky
After - Fred and Ethel

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