The
National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas.
They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word.
The word they were given was "Timbuktu."
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate.
He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought.
The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The redneck won hands down!
-----------------------
The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother Sheila finally found the PERFECT dress to
wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride EVER!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new VERY young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange the dress, but Barbie refused, "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress; I'll look like a million in it!"
Jennifer told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind dear. I'll get another dress, after all it's YOUR special day, not hers."
Two weeks later another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place
to wear it."
Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!
They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word.
The word they were given was "Timbuktu."
First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate.
He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand
Trekked a lonely caravan;
Men on camels, two by two
Destination Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought.
The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:
Me and Tim a huntin' went.
Met three whores in a pop up tent.
They was three, and we was two,
So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.
The redneck won hands down!
-----------------------
The wedding day was fast approaching. Everything was ready, and nothing could dampen Jennifer's excitement, not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother Sheila finally found the PERFECT dress to
wear and would be the best dressed mother of the bride EVER!
A week later, Jennifer was horrified to learn her new VERY young stepmother, Barbie, had purchased the same dress. She asked Barbie to exchange the dress, but Barbie refused, "Absolutely not! I'm going to wear this dress; I'll look like a million in it!"
Jennifer told her mother, who graciously replied, "Never mind dear. I'll get another dress, after all it's YOUR special day, not hers."
Two weeks later another dress was finally found. When they stopped for lunch, Jennifer asked her mother, "What are you going to do with the first dress? Maybe you should return it. You don't have any place
to wear it."
Sheila grinned and replied, "Of course, I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner!
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