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Friday, November 21, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

A park ranger in the Everglades was making his rounds a couple of summers ago when a woman came bolting out of the weeds right in front of his truck. She seemed frantic and he finally got her calm enough to say that her five year old son was sitting on the back of an alligator.

Now the ranger was frantic. Running in the direction she was pointing he found the lad astride a twelve foot male alligator which was trying to relieve itself of its load by twisting and snapping.

As the brave ranger moved in he tried to console the mother by saying, "I think I can grab the boy and move away before the gator moves, but be ready to grab your son. I may have to shoot the gator."

To which the lady replies "Good Heavens, no. I just wanted you to make him hold still for a minute so I could take my son's picture on his back."


A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totalling a substantial amount of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill was still outstanding.

The collections manager left a voice-mail for them saying "We are unable to ship your new order until payment is received for the last one."

The following day, the collections manager received a collect phone call, "Please cancel the order. We are unable to wait that long."


There she stood in the line at the post office, a line that wound its way almost out the front door.

A fellow customer spoke to the elderly lady waiting to buy some stamps. "Ma'am, you must be very tired. Did you know there's a stamp machine over there in the corner?" He pointed to the machine built into the wall.

"Why yes, thank you," the lady replied, "but I'll just wait here a little while longer. I'm getting close to the window."

The customer became insistent. "But it would be so much easier for you to avoid this long line and buy your stamps from the machine."

The woman patted him on the arm and answered, "Oh, I know. But that old machine would never ask me how my grandchildren are doing."

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