Funny: Some jokes

As a history buff, I was looking forward to staying in a hotel in Salisbury, England, that dated back to the 13th century.

But when I arrived, the hotel clerk gave me some bad news--my room was in the new section.

Disappointed, I asked when the 'new' section had been built.

"In the 1600s," she replied apologetically.

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If garbage workers in your community ever go out on strike, you might like to know how a wise New Yorker
disposed of his refuse for several days when sanitation workers were on strike.

Each day he wrapped his garbage in gift paper. Then he put it in a shopping bag. When he parked his car,
he left the bag on the front seat with the window open. When he got back to the car, the garbage had always
been collected.

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Woman: "Honey, does this dress make me look fat?"

Husband: "No, honey, it makes you look as slim as Cindy Crawford and Jennifer Aniston." (Cindy and Jennifer combined, maybe...)

A mother would be a little more honest:

Daughter: "Mom, does this dress make me look fat?"

Mother: "No, sweetheart, YOU make the dress look fat. I never thought fabric could stretch like that!"

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A farm boy accidentally overturned a wagonload of corn. A farmer, who lived nearby, heard the noise and yelled to the boy, "Hey, Willis, forget your troubles and come in for a visit. I'll help you pick the wagon up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but Pa wouldn't like me to."

"Aw, come on, boy," the farmer insisted.

"Well, OK" the boy finally agreed, "but Pa won't like it."

After a hearty dinner, Willis thanked his host. "I feel a lot better now, but I know Pa is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish," the neighbor said with a smile; "by the way, where is he?"

"Under the wagon," replied the boy.