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Thursday, November 20, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

The little sexy housewife was built so well that the TV repairman couldn't concentrate on his work. Whenever she came inside the room, he'd jerk his neck right out of joint to look at her.

When he'd finished she paid him and said, "I'm going to make a . ..well . . . unusual request. But you have to first promise me you'll keep it a secret."

The repairman quickly agreed and she went on. "Well, it's kind of embarrassing to talk about, my husband is a kind, decent man and he has a certain physical weakness, a certain disability, and now, I'm a woman and you're a man . . . "

The repairman could hardly speak when he said, "Yes; yes!"

"And I've been wanting to do it ever since you came in the door..."

"Yes; yes!"

She continued, "Would you help me move the refrigerator?"


A group of attorneys had to measure the height of a flag pole for evidence to support a lawsuit.

They went out to the flagpole with ladders and a tape measure.

They proceed to fall off the ladders and drop the tape measure, the whole thing was just a mess.

An engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do.

He walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurements to one of the attorneys and walks away.

After the engineer has gone, one attorney turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just like an engineer. We're looking for the height, and he gives us the length"


A man goes to visit his 85-year-old grandpa in hospital.

"How are you grandpa? he asks.

"Feeling fine," says the old man.

"What's the food like?"

"Terrific, wonderful menus."

"And the nursing?"

"Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you."

"What about sleeping? Do you sleep OK?"

"No problem I get nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet ... and that's it. I go out like a light."

The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes off to question the nurse in charge.

"What are you people doing," he says, "I'm told you're giving an 85-year-old Viagra on a daily basis. Surely that can't be true?"

"Oh, yes," replies the nurse. "Every night at 10 o'clock we give him a cup of chocolate and a Viagra tablet. It works wonderfully well. The chocolate makes him sleep, and the Viagra stops him from rolling out of bed."

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