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Saturday, November 1, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

An Irishman walks into a bar and says "Bartender, one round for everyone, on me!"

The bartender says, "Well, Murph, seems you're in a really good mood tonight, hm?"

The Irishman says, "Oh, you can bet on it! I just got hired by the city to go around and remove all the money from parking meters. I start on Monday!"

The bartender congratulates the man and proceeds to pour the round.

Monday evening arrives.

The Irishman comes back into the bar and says "Bartender, TWO rounds for everyone, on me!"

The bartender says, "Well now! If you're so happy just over having this new job, I can just imagine how happy you'll be when you get your paycheck!"

The Irishman looks at the bartender with a wondrous look on his face, pulls out a handful of quarters from his pocket, and says "You mean they'll PAY me too?"


Joe was getting along in years and his eyes were not what they used to be.

He began having trouble finding his ball on the course and mentioned it to the club pro.

"You should team up with one of the other older gents who has better eyesight." the pro told him.

"Old Lester has terrific vision. He can watch your ball and tell you where it landed."

So Joe contacts Lester and they agree to make twosome the next day.

The next day comes around and Joe tees up. "Watch my ball, Lester. I can't see too well, so I need you to tell me where it lands."

"Okay." says Lester.

WHACK! Joe drives the ball straight as an arrow down the fairway. "Did you see where it landed?" he asks Lester.

"Yep." Lester replies.


"Uh ... ya know, I can't seem to remember...."

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