Funny: Some jokes

Two Scottish nuns have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs.

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."

Nodding emphatically, the mother superior points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk towards the cart.

"Two dogs, please," says one.

The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter.

Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs.'

The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then, staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"

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There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-hour.

Then, this big trouble making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying.

The truck driver says: " Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."

"No, it's not that. Today is the worst day of my life.

First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car,

I found out it was stolen.

The police, they said they couldn't do anything.

I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my wallet in the cab.

I got home only to find my wife was with the gardener.

I left home and came to this bar. When I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison