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Sunday, November 23, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

Two farmers where discussing who had the meanest dog. One who had a very mean looking Doberman insisted that his was the meanest and that it could lick any other dog in the county. The second just looked at his mangy old yellow dog and said that he would wager his against any dog in the country. Well after some animated discussion they finally decided to let the dogs fight it out.

After a very short snarling match the old yellow dog leaps on the Doberman and kills it outright. The first farmer was aghast. His dog had been beating other dogs for years and had never had more than a small scratch or two. He turns to the other farmer and asks,

"What kind of dog did you say that was?"

The first farmer replies, "Well before he lost his tail we called him a Mountain Lion!"


This big dude walks into a bar with a little spider on his shoulder, as soon as one of the dudes in there spots it, he tells his friends and they all laugh.the man says:

"Laugh while you can, 'cos this spider is stronger than any of you!!!"

The man making fun replies "I'd like to see that!!"

"Fine, my spider will pick up this bar stool" he sets the spider on the floor and the spider easily picks it up.

"That's nothing!!"

"But there's more, now the spider sill pick up a table" and the spider easily picks up the table.

The men, not letting the spider impress them, only boo it "Now, gentlemen, this tiny spider will pick up the bar!!" and the spider spits on his hands, rubs them together and makes a great effort, but it picks up the bar!!!

The men, a little impressed ask "what else can it do??" so the man says "Now, it will pick up the bar with everyone of us on it!!" thinking it couldn't be done, the men start to get on the bar until there's like 40 guys on it.

The spider looks worried but starts walking towards the bar with an air of determination. suddenly, a man walks into the bar sees the spider on the floor walking towards the bar, and steps on it "You bunch of pussies, scared of a little spider!"


A fellow computer programmer for a consulting group had designed some software for one of our largest accounts. He asked my help in putting it into operation.

At first, he handled most of the work. Eventually, though, he asked me to help with the last phase of the training.

When I sat down with one woman and told her I would be showing her how to make changes to the files, she sighed with relief. "I'm so glad you're teaching me instead of him."

Surprised, I said that my colleague was far more experienced than I was.

Yes," she said, "but I feel much more comfortable with you. I get nervous around really smart people."

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