Funny: Some jokes

The long-awaited day came at last when Mother took us to the station to welcome Father home from the war. My brother Harry, who had been very small when Father went overseas and couldn't remember what he looked like, was watching everything intently.

As the soldiers left the train, they marched past the roped-off crowds. Father was the first to come by. Mother called to him and he broke ranks to greet us.

We were overjoyed to have Father home again, and everything went smoothly until later in the day when Harry misbehaved and Dad scolded him.

Harry glared at him, then turned to Mother and demanded indignantly, "Did you HAVE to pick the first one you saw?"

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Some Famous Last Words
• You'll be perfectly safe behind this much lead plate.
• That's not smoke, that's steam.
• Of course it's sterile.
• Well, we're the next best thing to a bank.
• That should be at least enough gas to make it across Nevada.
• It's so tame you can put your head in its mouth.
• It was fresh just last week.
• These are the safe kind of mushrooms.
• It should be ok to swim in.
• He's been a perfectly safe driver ever since his first Model T.
• Clip the red wire first.
• It's ok to format this disk.
• It's supposed to make that noise.
• It's pretty much grounded.
• It doesn't *look* like the bridge is out.
• They only attack when they're hungry.
• I can hold my breath at least that long.
• The boss won't mind.
• It shouldn't take long to reach Anchorage.
• Let's ask those soldiers for directions.
• It'll shrink in the wash.
• Jason won't find us in this closet.
• I'm sure I turned my lights off.
• I bet I can fit in there.