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Monday, October 6, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

As chaplain in a university residence hall, I am supposed to uphold all of the school rules, which include a ban on pets.

That changed when a kitten adopted me. The freshmen in my dorm kept my secret.

They covered for me by calling my kitten "the Book," since I had so many in my room.

One morning I was leaving the dorm with the kitten in a carrier. A student stopped me and asked, "Where are you taking the Book?"

I explained that I was taking the kitten to the vet. "She's getting neutered today," I told him.

"Hmmm," the student responded, "no sequels."


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An older Jewish gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad, what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me ... your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."


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A man answers the phone and has the following conversation:

"Yes, mother, I've had a hard day.

Gladys has been most difficult - I know I ought to be more firm, but it is hard. Well, you know how she is."

"Yes, I remember you warned me. I remember you told me that she was a vile creature who would make my life miserable and you begged me not to marry her."

"You were perfectly right."

"You want to speak with her? All right."

He looks up from the telephone and calls to his wife in the next room:

"Gladys, your mother wants to talk to you!"

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