One Sunday a cowboy went to church. When he entered, he
saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the
cowboy if he wanted him to go ahead and preach.
The cowboy said, "I'm not too smart, but if I went
to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I'd feed him."
So the minister began his sermon.
One hour passed, then two hours, then two-and-a-half
hours. The preacher finally finished and came down to ask the cowboy how he
liked the sermon.
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My broker called me this morning and said, "Remember
that stock we bought and I said you'd be able to retire at age 55?"
"Yes, I remember," I said.
"Well," my broker continued, "your
retirement age is now 108."
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The teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball
in his driveway. After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was
nowhere to be found.
Undaunted, she went outside and in a few minutes,
returned with the lens in her hand.
"How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the
teenager asked.
"We weren't looking for the same thing," she
replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for
$150."
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