A
fellow met his friend, a notorious horseplayer, on the street. The guy looked like he'd just lost his best friend.
"Why so sad?" he was asked.
"I had a hundred dollars stashed away to bet on the ponies today," the gambler said "but my wife found it and blew it all on the rent and groceries!"
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Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living in Arkansas out on the farm up in the hills. Pa has found out that the hole for the outhouse is full. He goes in the house and tells Ma he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole. Ma
says,"Why don't you go ask the youngun down the road??? He must be smart because he is a college graduate."
So Pa drives down to the neighbors. He ask him " Mr. College graduate, my hole for the outhouse is full and I don't know what to do to empty it."
The youngun tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Light them both under the outhouse. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. The second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm and fertilize your ground. The outhouse will then come back down to the same spot and you will have an empty hole for the outhouse."
Pa thanks the neighbor and picks up two sticks of dynamite at the hardware store, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He goes home and puts them under the corner of the outhouse. He lights them and then runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse!!
BOOM!!
Off goes the first stick of dynamite and shoots the outhouse in the air.
BOOM!!
Off goes the second stick of dynamite and spreads the poop all across the farm.
The outhouse comes crashing back down on the hole.
Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right??!!" As she pulls up her pants she says, "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen."
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An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place to get American food.
The concierge tells him he's in luck, there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver.
The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably.
He asks the deliveryman, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"
The deliveryman bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered: 'pepper only'."
"Why so sad?" he was asked.
"I had a hundred dollars stashed away to bet on the ponies today," the gambler said "but my wife found it and blew it all on the rent and groceries!"
-----------------------------
Ma and Pa were two hillbillies living in Arkansas out on the farm up in the hills. Pa has found out that the hole for the outhouse is full. He goes in the house and tells Ma he doesn't know what to do to empty the hole. Ma
says,"Why don't you go ask the youngun down the road??? He must be smart because he is a college graduate."
So Pa drives down to the neighbors. He ask him " Mr. College graduate, my hole for the outhouse is full and I don't know what to do to empty it."
The youngun tells him, "Get yourself two sticks of dynamite, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. Light them both under the outhouse. The first one will go off and shoot the outhouse in the air. The second one will then go off and spread the poop all across your farm and fertilize your ground. The outhouse will then come back down to the same spot and you will have an empty hole for the outhouse."
Pa thanks the neighbor and picks up two sticks of dynamite at the hardware store, one with a short fuse and one with a long fuse. He goes home and puts them under the corner of the outhouse. He lights them and then runs behind a tree.
All of a sudden, Ma comes running out of the house and into the outhouse!!
BOOM!!
Off goes the first stick of dynamite and shoots the outhouse in the air.
BOOM!!
Off goes the second stick of dynamite and spreads the poop all across the farm.
The outhouse comes crashing back down on the hole.
Pa races to the outhouse, throws open the door and asks, "Ma, are you all right??!!" As she pulls up her pants she says, "Yeah, but I'm sure glad I didn't fart in the kitchen."
---------------------------
An American businessman goes to Japan on a business trip, but he hates Japanese food, so he asks the concierge at his hotel if there's any place to get American food.
The concierge tells him he's in luck, there's a pizza place that just opened, and they deliver.
The concierge gives the businessman the phone number, and he goes back to his room and orders a pizza.
Thirty minutes later, the delivery guy shows up to the door with the pizza.
The businessman takes the pizza, and starts sneezing uncontrollably.
He asks the deliveryman, "What the heck did you put on this pizza?"
The deliveryman bows deeply and says, "We put on the pizza what you ordered: 'pepper only'."
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