Funny: Some jokes

A quiet little man was brought before a Judge.

The Judge looked over the charges, then peered down at the little man in amazement.

"Can you tell me in your own words what happened?" asked the Judge.

"I'm a mathematician dealing in the nature of proof."

"Yes, go on," said the Judge.

"Well, I was at the library and I found the books I wanted and went to check them out.

They told me my library card had expired and I had to get a new one.

So I went to the registration office and got in another line. The lady there gave me some forms to fill out.

I filled out the forms and got in another line to get my new card."

"And?" prodded the Judge.

"And then the guy behind that counter said, 'Can you prove you're from New York City?'

So I stabbed him."

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A grizzled old man was eating in a truck stop when three Hell's Angels bikers walked in. The first walked up to the old man, pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie and then took a seat at the counter. The second walked up to the old man, spit into the old man's milk and then he took a seat at the counter. The third walked up to the old man, turned over the old man's plate, and then he took a seat at the counter.

Without a word of protest, the old man quietly left the diner. Shortly thereafter, one of the bikers said to the waitress, "Humph, not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied, "Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his truck over three motorcycles."