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Thursday, October 23, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

The mine operator called the nearby state prison and asked them to send over a safecracker to open his jammed safe.

Soon a convict showed up, spun the dials, listened intently, and calmly opened the safe door.

"Well," said the mine operator, "what do you think I owe you?"

The prisoner said, "Uh, the last time I opened a safe, I got $25,000."


I returned to my parents' home to attend a funeral. At the temple, my mother led me to a man who looked vaguely familiar. "Barbara, remember Rabbi Green?" she asked as she left me in his company.

I frantically tried to place him, and suddenly it came to me. He was the kind man who, five years earlier, had officiated at my grandmother's funeral. "It's good to see you again, Rabbi," I said.  "Though I wish it weren't always under such tragic circumstances."

The rabbi looked perplexed but uttered some words of consolation before he was called away. A few minutes later, I rejoined my mother.

"Imagine," she whispered, "after all this time, to run into the rabbi who performed your wedding!"


Becky, a good Assessment nurse was awakened at 4 a.m. to make a house call.

She reluctantly got dressed and braved a snowstorm.

After the examination, she told the patient to send immediately for his lawyer and relatives and friends and make a will.

When she got home and told her husband of what she had seen and done.

Her husband asked, "Was the Patient that bad?"

Becky said, "No, I just didn't want to be the only sucker called out on a night like this."

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