Can't find what you are looking for ?

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Funny: Many jokes

A teenage granddaughter comes downstairs for her date and has on a see-through blouse and no bra. Her grandmother has a fit, telling her not to dare go out like that.

The teenager tells her "Loosen up Grams. These are modern times. You gotta let your rosebuds show!" and out she goes.

The next day the teenager comes downstairs and the grandmother is sitting there with no top on. The teenager wants to die. She explains to her grandmother that she has friends coming over and that it is just not appropriate.

"Loosen up, sweetie. If you can show off your rosebuds, then I can display my hanging baskets.


Notes For The Milkman

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."

Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"

Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."

Milkman. please could I have a loaf but not bread today."

Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round."

When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you 'to give me a hand to turn the mattress.

Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last nights Coronation Street. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened."

My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle."

Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me."

Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."

From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."

My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen
table in pence, because we want to play bingo tonight."

Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday."

When you leave the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door.
PS. Don't leave any milk.

No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."

No comments: