A
little girl went up to her mother one day while holding her stomach saying, "Mommy, my stomach hurts."
Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" She then prepared a bowl of soup.
Later that day when the pastor and his wife were over for dinner.
The pastor began to feel bad. Holding his head he said, "I have such a terrible headache!"
The little girl looked up at him, giving him the sweetest smile that any little child could give.
Then she said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"
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A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Inland Revenue and write on the envelope, " Now you have everything.'
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A tramp put the finger on a banker as he was coming out of his office. "How about a dime for coffee?" he asked.
"Here," the banker said. "Here's 50 cents. Go buy yourself five cups of coffee."
The next day, as the banker was coming out of his office again, the same tramp came up and punched him in the nose.
"Hey," yelled the banker, "is that any way to treat me after I gave you a half-dollar?
"You and your lousy five cups of coffee," the tramp snarled, punching him in the nose again. "They kept me awake all night."
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An English landowner and his Irish manservant ran into each other in hell one day.
"My lord," the Irishman exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"
The landowner sighed. "I'm here because I lied, cheated, and stole to pay the debts run up by that playboy son of mine.
But you were a faithful, loyal servant. Why are you here?"
"For fathering that playboy son of yours," the Irishman replied.
Her mother replied, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!" She then prepared a bowl of soup.
Later that day when the pastor and his wife were over for dinner.
The pastor began to feel bad. Holding his head he said, "I have such a terrible headache!"
The little girl looked up at him, giving him the sweetest smile that any little child could give.
Then she said, "That's because it's empty, you have to put something into it!"
-------------------------
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."
"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Inland Revenue and write on the envelope, " Now you have everything.'
--------------------------
A tramp put the finger on a banker as he was coming out of his office. "How about a dime for coffee?" he asked.
"Here," the banker said. "Here's 50 cents. Go buy yourself five cups of coffee."
The next day, as the banker was coming out of his office again, the same tramp came up and punched him in the nose.
"Hey," yelled the banker, "is that any way to treat me after I gave you a half-dollar?
"You and your lousy five cups of coffee," the tramp snarled, punching him in the nose again. "They kept me awake all night."
--------------------------
An English landowner and his Irish manservant ran into each other in hell one day.
"My lord," the Irishman exclaimed, "What are you doing here?"
The landowner sighed. "I'm here because I lied, cheated, and stole to pay the debts run up by that playboy son of mine.
But you were a faithful, loyal servant. Why are you here?"
"For fathering that playboy son of yours," the Irishman replied.
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