This 85 year-old couple, having been married almost 60
years, die tragically in a car crash. They have been in good health the last
ten years, mainly due to the wife's nearly neurotic interest in health food.
When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them
to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath
suite, complete with a Jacuzzi. As they 'oohed and aahed', the old man asked
St. Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," St. Peter replied, "remember,
this is Heaven."
Next they went out back to see the championship golf
course the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day, and
each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses
on Earth. The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"
"This is Heaven," St. Peter replied. "You
play for free."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet
lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. "How much to eat?"
asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet?" St. Peter asked.
"This is Heaven; it's free!"
"Well, where are the low-fat and low-cholesterol
foods?" the old man asked timidly.
"That's the best part, you can eat as much as you
like of whatever you like and never get fat and you never get sick. This is
Heaven."
The old man looked at his wife and said, "You and
your darn bran muffins! I could have been here ten years ago!"
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