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Saturday, September 20, 2014

Funny: Some jokes

One day there were two hunters out in the woods hunting. Their names were Bob and Jim. Jim accidentally shoots Bob. Panicking, Jim uses his cell phone to call 911.

Jim says "Hi, me and my friend where out hunting together and I saw what looked like a deer, so I shot it, but it was actually Bob, and I think he might be dead. What should I do?"

The woman on the other end answers,"Ok, first you have to make sure he is dead." He says "Ok." Then the woman hears Jim drop the phone, then some noise, and then she hears a loud boom. Then Jim picks up the phone and says "Ok, now what."


My daughter's 5th-grade class had been studying astronomy. One morning at breakfast she announced, "On Friday we're having a quiz on the moon."

That's when her little brother piped up, saying, "Are you gonna let her go, Mom?"


While reviewing math symbols with my second-grade pupils, I drew a greater-than ( > ) and a less-than sign ( < ) on the chalkboard and asked, "Does anyone remember what these mean?"

A few moments passed, and then a boy confidently raised his hand. "One means fast-forward," he exclaimed, "and the other means rewind!"


A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground."

A Blonde

The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?" 

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