Funny: Some quick jokes

A blonde tried to sell her old car, but she was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had 250,000 miles on it.
One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with. The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."
"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will turn the counter in your car back to 50,000 miles. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic. About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied the blonde, "why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it."

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On our 25th anniversary, my husband took me out to dinner. Our teenage daughters said they'd have dessert waiting for us when we returned. After we got home, we saw that the dining room table was beautifully set with china, crystal and candles, and there was a note that read: "Your dessert is in the refrigerator. We are staying with friends, so go ahead and do something we wouldn't do!"
"I suppose," my husband responded, "we could vacuum."

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10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations.

1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends... .
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here..

2. In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia.. ...why don't you try again.

3. At a funeral: One of the teary-eyed people ask...
Stupid Question:- Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:- Why? Would it rather have been you?

4. At a restaurant: When you ask the waiter
Stupid Question:- Is ! the "Butter Paneer Masala" dish good??
Answer:- No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occasionally also spit in it.

5. At a family get-together: When some distant aunt meets you after years...
Stupid Question:- Bob, you've become so big.
Answer:- Well you haven't particularly s hr unk yourself.

6. When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask...
Stupid Question:- Is the guy you're marrying good?
Answer:- No, he's a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout...it's just the money.

7. When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call...
Stupid Question:- Sorry. were you sleeping?
Answer:- No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping.... you dumb witted moron.

8. When you see a friend/colleague with evidently shorter hair...
Stupid Question:- Hey have you had a haircut?
Answer:- No, its autumn and I'm shedding.... ..

9. At the dentist when he's sticking pointed objects in your mouth...
Stupid Question :- Tell me if it hurts?
Answer :- No it wont. It will just bleed.

10. You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks...
Stupid Question:- Oh, so you smoke.
Answer:-  Gosh, it's a miracle .......it was a piece of chalk and now it's in flames!!!