Humor: Some cynical quotes

-- Always borrow money from a pessimist; they don't expect to be paid back

-- Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research

-- A day without sunshine is like night.

-- Don't give other people a piece of your mind unless you can afford it.

-- Foresight is knowing when to shut your mouth before someone suggests it.

-- If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

-- If you hear an onion ring, answer it.

-- Is the glass half empty, half full, or twice as large as it needs to be?

-- Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change

-- A metaphor is like a simile.

-- Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

-- Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme.

-- Teenagers are people who express a burning desire to be different by dressing exactly alike.

-- Good friends will help you move. REALLY good friends will help you move bodies."

-- It's hard to make predictions, especially about the future."

-- Life is hard. Its even harder if youre stupid."

-- "If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you."

-- "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

-- "Lies circle the earth while Truth is still trying to put on its shoes."

-- I wanna be different just like everyone else