Jokes

1. Trying to make up for bad behavior, Bill Clinton went to the shopping mall to buy Hillary a gift. "I'd like to buy some gloves for my wife," he says eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size."

"Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. "Oh, yes," he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours." "Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl inquired, as she wrapped the gloves. "Now that you mention it," Bill replied, "she also needs a bra and panties."


2. The Great Job Interview
A man was being interviewed for a job.
Boss: "Were you in the service?" ask the interviewer.
Candidate: "Yes, I was a marine," responded the applicant.

Boss: "Did you see any active duty?"
Candidate: "I was in Iraq for 2 years and I have a partial disability."

Boss: "May I ask what happened?"
Candidate: "Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles."

Boss: "You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am."
Candidate: "When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential treatment because of my disability."

Boss: "Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first." :)



3. Three men go on holiday abroad together. The tourist office informs them that there is only one hotel in town with vacancies. The lads go along there, only to be told by reception that there is just one available room left in the hotel. They are not keen, but as it is their only option, they take the room for one evening and share its only bed.
That night, they all enjoy a good night's sleep. In the morning, the guy on the right side of the bed says, "I dreamt I had the best wank last night." The guy on the left side says, "That's funny, I had the exact same dream!" The guy in the middle says, "I dreamt I was skiing."