Jokes

1. The man came home drunk at four in the morning, and his wife was all over him, yelling at him, crying because she thought he was with another woman. "No, honey, I swear, I was at this bar, and it was so fancy that even the urinals were made of gold."
She said she didn't believe him so she called the bar. "Hello," she said, "I just want to ask one question. My husband claims to have spent the night at your bar and I have one question; are your urinals covered in gold?" To which she heard the bartender say, "Hey, Clarence, I think we found the guy who pissed in your saxophone."


2. A sardar and a lawyer were seated next to each other on a long flight. To pass the time, the lawyer suggested that they try to stump one another with trivia. "If I ask you something that you don't know, you owe me Rs 5. The same goes if you ask me something I don't know." The sardar refused.
"Okay. If you don't know an answer, you pay me Rs 5, but if I don't know an answer,
I pay you Rs 50." The sardar accepted. The Lawyer went first.
"What is the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The sardar didn't say anything, but merely reached into her purse, pulled out a Rs 5 bill and handed it to the lawyer. Then it was her turn. "What has four legs going up a hill, but only three coming down?"
The lawyer had no idea, so he gave her a Rs 50 bill. "So, what is it?"
The sardar said nothing, but merely reached into her purse and gave a Rs 5 bill to the lawyer.