Jokes

1. A couples happy married life almost went on the rocks because of the presence in the household of old Aunt Emma. For seventeen long years she lived with them, always crotchety, always demanding. Finally, the old girl died.
On the way back from the cemetery, the husband confessed to his wife, "Darling, if I didn't love you so much, I don't think I would have put up with having your Aunt Emma in the house all those years." His wife looked at him aghast. "My Aunt Emma?" she cried. "I thought she was 'your' Aunt Emma!"



2.
YEAR 1981

1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope died.

YEAR 2005

1. Prince Charles got married.
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe .
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope died.

In the future, if Prince Charles decides to remarry, please warn the Pope.



3. Henry's dad was a farmer in a poor district of the country. One day his Uncle Festus came to visit. Since there were limited accommodations, they were required to sleep together.
When Uncle Festus came into the bedroom, he saw Henry kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed.
Henry looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?" "Why, the same thing you're doing," replied Uncle Festus. "Ma's gonna be mad", said Henry, "The pot's on this side."



4. A very religious couple was touring the Holy Land during the Christmas season and decided it would be very meaningful to them to spend Christmas Eve in Bethlehem, the birth place of Jesus.
Arriving there, they searched high and low for a room, but none was available at any price. Finally, they pulled up in front of the Sheraton-Bethlehem and the husband got out of the car, telling his wife: "Stay here, sweetie. Let me see if I can do something for us."
He approached the desk and the clerk told him there were no rooms. "Sorry, sir. It's Christmas Eve, our busiest time." No matter how much the man offered to pay, the clerk said he had nothing.
Finally, the man told the clerk, "I bet if I told you my name was Joseph, that the woman waiting in the car was called Mary, and that she had a newborn infant, you'd find us a room."
"Well," stammered the clerk, "I --- I suppose so." "Okay," said the man. "I guarantee you, they're not coming tonight, so we'll take their room."