Joke

DEFINITIONS FOR PARENTS

----> AMNESIA: condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to have sex again.

----> DUMBWAITER: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.

----> FAMILY PLANNING: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

----> FEEDBACK: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

----> FULL NAME: What you call you child when you're mad at him.

----> GRANDPARENTS: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.

----> HEARSAY: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.

----> IMPREGNABLE: A woman whose memory of labor is still vivid.

----> INDEPENDENT: How we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.

----> OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.

----> PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

----> PUDDLE: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.

----> SHOW OFF: A child who is more talented than yours.

----> STERILIZE: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by boiling it and to your last baby's pacifier by blowing on it.

----> TOP BUNK: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman jammies.

----> TWO-MINUTE WARNING: When the baby's face turns red and she begins to make those familiar grunting noises.

----> VERBAL: Able to whine in words.

----> WHODUNIT: None of the kids that live in your house.