Jokes

1. A tom cat and a tabby cat were courting on a back fence at night.

The tom leaned over to the tabby with pent up passion and purred... "I'll die for you!"

The tabby gazed at him from under lowered eye lids and asked, "How many times?



2. A guy gets shipwrecked. Then he wakes up, he's on a beach.

The sand is dark red. He can't believe it. The sky is dark red.

He walks around a bit and sees there is dark red grass, dark red birds and dark red fruit on the dark red trees.

He's shocked when he finds that his skin is starting to turn dark red too.

"Oh no!!" he says. "I think I've been marooned!!"


3. An old fellow came into the hospital truly on death's door due to an infected gallbladder. The surgeon who removed the gallbladder was adamant that his patients be up and walking in the hall the day after surgery, to help prevent blood clots forming in the leg veins.

The nurses walked the patient in the hall as ordered. On the third day the had done this to the old fellow, the nurse told how he complained bitterly each time they did.

The surgeon told them to keep walking him, no matter what. After a fortnight, the patient was ready to go home. His family came to pick him up and thanked the
surgeon profusely for what he had done for their father, telling him he was a miracle worker.

The surgeon was pleased and appreciated the thanks, but told them that it was really a simple operation and that they had been lucky to get him into the hospital time.
"Oh no,doctor, you don't understand," they said, "Our father hasn't walked in over a year!"