SEX QUOTES

"What do I know about sex? I'm a married man." --Tom Clancy

"I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy." --Steve Martin

"You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither." --Drew Carey

"Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as meaningless experiences go, it's pretty damned good." --Woody Allen

"Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand." -- Unknown

"If it weren't for pickpockets I'd have no sex life at all." --Rodney Dangerfield

"My cousin is an agoraphobic homosexual, which makes it kind of hard for him to come out of the closet." -- Bill Kelly

"As the French say, there are three sexes-men, women and clergymen."
-- Rev. Sydney Smith

"Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night." -- Woody Allen

"Homosexuality is God's way of insuring that the truly gifted aren't burdened with children." -- Sam Austin

"I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty." -- George Burns

"I can remember when riding motorcycles was dangerous and sex was safe." -- Unknown

"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married." -- Matt Barry

"Life is a sexually transmitted disease." -- Unknown

"My kid had sex with your honor student." -- Bumper Sticker

"My sexual preference is not you." -- T-Shirt

"Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life." -- Michael Sinz

"Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast." --Woody Allen

"Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope." -- George Burns

"Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant." -- Henry Miller

"The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn't mean that God doesn't love heterosexuals. It's just that they need more supervision." -- Lynn Lavner

"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible." -- P. J. ORourke