YOU KNOW YOU ARE ITALIAN

. Do you know why most men from Italy are named Tony? On the boat over to America they put a sticker on them that said TO NY..

. You know you're Italian when . . .You can bench press 325 pounds, shave twice a day and still cry when your mother yells at you.

. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit two cappicola sandwiches, 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular lunch bag.

. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, accountant, travel agent and lawyer are all your cousins.

. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All five of those cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother.

. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners.

. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor.

. If someone in your family grows beyond 5' 9", it is presumed his Mother had an affair.

. There are more than 28 people in your bridal party.

. You netted more than $50,000 on your first communion.

. And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when:

. Your grandfather had a fig tree.

. You eat Sunday dinner at 2:00.

. Christmas Eve . . . only fish.

. Your mom's meatballs are the best.

. You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you.

. Plastic on the furniture is normal.

. You know how to pronounce "manicotti" and "mozzarella. "

. You fight over whether it's called "sauce" or "gravy."

. You've called someone a "mamaluke."

. And you understand "bada bing"