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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

If you don't eat your vegetables

There was this poor, sad little fellow who was very nerdy,
wizened and unhealthy looking. He never had any luck with
women, as they just laughed at his pathetic appearance. He tried
everything...lonely hearts columns, singles clubs, dating agencies
etc, all to no avail.

One night he was all alone (as usual) in a bar, staring gloomily
into his lonely drink, when a beautiful blonde started giving him
the eye. She wore the tightest of sweaters and briefest of mini
skirts and he could scarcely believe it when she wiggled over to
him and said "Hi."

He blinked and looked around, thinking she must be talking to
somebody behind him. But, no, she was talking to him, and soon
they struck up an animated conversation. After a few drinks,
she asked him if he would like to take her home and the guy,
floating on Cloud Nine, eagerly assented.

At her house she led him inside, wiggling her hips seductively.
She led him to the sofa and poured him a large Scotch. Then she
told him he was to take all his clothes off, and the blonde then
blindfolded him with a scarf tied tightly around his eyes so that
he couldn't see a thing. She announced that she was going to leave
the room for a moment and when she returned he was to remove the
blindfold and she would have a surprise for him.

He was now trembling with anticipation. He had never even had sex
with a woman before, never mind this kinky stuff. She left him
sitting on the couch, stark naked and still blindfolded.

After a few moments he heard the blonde return. She told him in a
sweet voice, "OK, you can take the blindfold off now." He eagerly
whipped the scarf from his eyes, only to find the blonde still
fully dressed, but accompanied by three small children who stared
at him in amazement.

"There," said the blonde to the kids. "Now that's what you'll look
like if you don't eat your vegetables."

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