It may be time to diet & exercise if--

--you try to do a few pushups and discover that certain body parts refuse to leave the floor.

--your children look through your wedding album and want to know who Daddy's first wife was.

--you get winded just saying the words "ten-kilometer run."

--you come to the conclusion that, if God really wanted you to touch your toes each morning, He would have put them somewhere around your knees.

--you analyze your body honestly and decide what you should develop first is your sense of humor.

--you step on a talking scale and it says, "Come back when you're alone."