Office work

You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.
To err is human, to forgive is Not Company Policy.
A conference is simply an admission that you want somebody else to join you in your troubles.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
The fifteen minute morning coffee break is when your employees take a break from doing nothing.
You worry too much about your job. Stop it. You are not paid enough to worry.
The usefulness of a meeting is inversely proportional to its attendance.
If you don't know what you're doing, do it neatly.
Work fascinates me. I can sit and watch it for hours.
When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
No man goes before his time. Unless, of course, the boss leaves early.