If Men Got Pregnant...

* Maternity leave would last for two years...with full pay.

* There'd be a cure for stretch marks.

* Natural childbirth would become obsolete.

* Morning sickness would rank as the nation's number one health problem.

* All methods of birth control would be improved 100 percent effectiveness.

* Children would be kept in the hospital until they were toilet trained.

* Men would be eager to talk about commitment.

* They wouldn't think twins were quite so cute.

* Fathers would demand that their sons be home from dates by 10:00pm.

* Men could use THEIR briefcases as diaper bags.

* They'd have to stop saying, "I'm afraid I'll drop him."

* Paternity suits would be a line of clothes.

* They'd stay in bed for the entire nine months.

* Menus at most restaurants would list ice cream and pickles as an entree.