WHY FISHING IS BETTER THAN SEX

* A big, juicy worm always gets a fish excited.

* You don't have to eat a fish while it's still flopping around.

* You can take a leak in the bush anytime you want.

* Stroking your rod won't piss off a trout.

* Sipping a beer and scratching your balls is all the foreplay expected of you.

* Anything you stick in a fish's face, it eats.

* A fish will never gag, choke, or come up for air.

* A red snapper won't cry if you call it a flounder.

* You wear rubbers on your feet, not on your dick.

* If you want a bigger pole, you can have a bigger pole.

* A smart fish knows when to keep it's mouth shut.

* It's okay to cook a fish to make it taste good.

* Fish bite for a guy of 60, same as they do for a guy of 20.

* You're never called a jerk when you throw back an ugly fish.

* Fish are real happy when you pick up your gear and go home.