TEN SIGNS HE ONLY WANTS TO GET LAID

1. Watching a nature show where animals fornicate, he keeps winking and doing the eyebrow thing.

2. When you ask him what kind of car he likes to drive, he solemnly replies, "The skin bus to tuna town," and then laughs until he cries.

3. You note that integrity is so important in a man, he notes that what he looks for in a "chick" is "you know."

4. He whispers, "you're beautiful," to your thighs, then glances up at your face and says, "oh you, too."

5. When you comment on the rarity of men these days who seek mature relationships, he giggles quite a bit.

6. In conversation with others, he refers to you as his "quality tail."

7. Washing dishes after you've cooked him dinner for the first time, you reach behind you to take the paper towels off the paper-towel rod and then realize that you don't own a paper-towel rod.

8. When you're insulted by his "motel" suggestion at the end of your first date, he looks impressed and says, "hotel."

9. When you proudly recount your glorious high school valedictory speech to him, he praises "your multi-talented mouth."

10. When you tell him what you do for a living, he stares at your breasts and loudly asks, "What do they do?"