THE TOP 16 LINES YOU'LL NEVER HEAR IN A WESTERN

THE TOP 16 LINES YOU'LL NEVER HEAR IN A WESTERN

16 "I reckon I'll have me a half-caf double latte with a twist. IN A DIRTY MUG!"

15 "Gentlemen, rather than get caught up in mindless reaction, let's draw upon our feminine selves for a more intuitive solution."

14 "Can we postpone this duel till 12:05? I gotta use the little boys' room."

13 "Injuns! Quick, pull the wagons into an irregular dodecagon!"

12 "Y'know, Badlands Pete... a roaring campfire, good coffee, nice prairie breeze, just you 'n' me... what say we put on the rhinestone gowns and dance a jig or two?"

11 "Guns? We don't need no stinking guns!"

10 "I'm tellin' ya, I ain't shot no varmints since them PETA fellers set me straight."

9 "Let's see... hardtack and pemmican... that's three grams of fat, seven grams of protein, and two starches."

8 "Who let the dogies out?"

7 "You 'n' Slim round up them strays, and I'll tell Cookie to get started on the gazpacho and the fondue."

6 "That's him! That's the yella-bellied varmint who shot my therapist!"

5 "He was a strong man, a good marshal, and I reckon he had a keen eye for interior decoration."

4 "Hey, Buck, do these chaps make my butt look big?"

3 "Dammit, Jake, yer an enabler!"

2 "It's like I keep tellin' ya, Earl: men is from Tombstone, women is from Dodge."

and the number 1 Line You'll NEVER Hear in a Western...

1 "HANG HIM HIGH, BOYS!! ...Okay, now a little to the left... Oooh! Oooh! Stop right there. Perfect!"