Secrets

The Secret of Personal Growth -- Shoes with Lifts

Learn to be Assertive -- Take Charge of the TV Remote Control

How to Speak in Public -- How to Say "Hey, There's a Line" Without Getting Punched

How to Win Friends -- The Advantages of Showering Daily

Discovering Your Inner Self -- Do It Yourself Microsurgery

Realization Through Yoga -- Realizing You Can't Get Your Feet Behind Your Head

Boost Self-Confidence -- Stand Up to Door-to-Door Salesmen

Developing a Better Image -- Plastic Surgery

Achieving Self-Awareness -- Knowing Your Alcohol Limit

The Easy Way to Wealth -- Marry Someone Rich

The Real Reality. . .

"EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES"
Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three "ones" come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in ancient times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern.

"YOU CAN'T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)"
Well... that depends on what it is. If it's your dark blue suit, you can certainly take it with you. In fact, not only can you take it with you, they can probably put some of your things in your pockets.

"YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY"
Actually, you learn something old every day. Just because you've just learned it doesn't mean it's new. Other people already knew it.

"THE SKY'S THE LIMIT"
Well, how can the sky be the limit? The sky never ends. What kind of a limit is that? The earth is the limit. You dig a hole and what do you keep getting? More earth. The earth is the limit.

"TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY"
Not necessarily true. Today is another day. We have no idea what tomorrow is going to be. It might turn out to be another day, but we can't be sure. If it happens, I'll be the first to say so. But, you know what? By that time, it will be today again.

"NICE GUYS FINISH LAST"
Not true. Studies have shown that, on average, nice guys finish third in a field of six. Actually, short guys finish last. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that nice guys finished 27th. You can see how limited those medieval people were.

"IF YOU'VE SEEN ONE, YOU'VE SEEN THEM ALL"
Do we even have to talk about this one? This should be obvious. If you've seen one, you've seen one. If you've seen them all, only *then* you've seen them all. I don't even understand how this stupid maxim got started.

" WE ARE GOING TO WAR TO BRING PEACE "
Yeah, right! And " The Axis of Evil " is only evil unless they have atomic bombs....then they become semi-evil.

"EVERYBODY HAS HIS PRICE"
Not so. Would you believe there are millions of people who do not have their price? Thanks to a IRS mix-ups, and E-Bay, many people have someone else's price.