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Sunday, March 23, 2008

Male chauvinist pig party

There is only one thing that will make our beloved country great again... men!

The biggest mistake mankind has ever made was to allow women to think. We at the Male Chauvinist Pig Party aim to right all the wrongs these inferior, weak, feeble women have inflicted onto our once great nation and put it back on course to become the great Britain it was, with real men at the helm and the women back at home, where
they belong, looking after the kids.

Why are our country's dole queues so long? There is one plain and simple explanation to this question... bloody women! As we have already stated, a woman's place is in the home, not taking away some poor blokes opportunity to earn a crust for his family.

Who do these females think they are? Get 'em back behind the kitchen sink I say! OK. Maybe we should allow them to do some minor little jobs, just to get 'em out of the house for an hour a day, after all, we need someone to clean all our offices and factories, don't we?

So, our policy on rectifying the unemployment problem is to give the jobs back to the men! Why is this country in such terrible debt? Because our darling wives and girlfriends can't stop spending our money, that's why! As soon as our backs are turned they're off, down to the shops to treat themselves to a new dress or some other unimportant item of clothing which will piled into their wardrobes.

Absolutely no concern for us hard working blokes who have just toiled all hours so we can enjoy a night out or two with the lads. But worst of all, they then complain that they have nothing to bloody wear! It's about time we put our foot down. We'll show 'em, by introducing a new legislation making it law that all our wages be direct debited to the local pub, therefore by-passing the grubby paws of our spendthrift women!

Our planet is in one hell of a poor state and the blame can be placed only on one thing... women! Take the ozone layer, gradually disappearing thanks to the female species use over CFC emitting hairsprays and deodorants. Then there is the wanton destruction of our wildlife. Whale's being butchered for their blubber and oils to be
used in cosmetics... used by women! The countless creatures hunted to the verge of extinction purely for their furs... worn by women! Yes, our poor planet is being slaughtered for one reason... woman's vanity! Well, we aim to stamp out this terrible misuse of our planet's resources by passing new laws allowing women to tart themselves up for their man only and not every Tom, Dick and Harry from the milkman to the window-cleaner!

Women Drivers? What can I say? The scourge of our highways. The curse of our transport problems. Let's face it fellas, women were not put on this planet to drive cars, they just haven't got a bloody clue! They potter about, strictly adhering to the speed limits, stopping at red lights, taking hours to park between cars etc. They litter the roads with their Mini Metros and Ford Fiestas generally getting in our way and slowing down our natural male pace.

No wonder the roads are so congested. We aim to make a few minor changes to the highway code making it impossible for women to learn to drive, i.e. It will be illegal to use cushions on drivers seats. Maybe that will encourage them to stick to using buses!

Men of this fair Isle, let us unite and put our women back in their place.

Vote for the male chauvinist pig party, let us stand erect once again, let us stand proud; let's ejaculate in the face of women and make Britain great once more!

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