Signs You've Hired a Bad Easter Bunny

10. Shows up wearing the costume head and nothing else.

9. Reeks of tequila and Easter egg dye.

8. Immediately asks if he can have Easter off.

7. Refuses to hop because it aggravates his double hernia.

6. For an extra 20 bucks, parents can buy an ounce of his special "Easter grass".

5. Only gives the kids candy after they attend his presentation on the time-share condos.

4. Keeps muttering something about "infidels" and "jihad".

3. Costume is made from animal skin he scraped off the interstate.

2. Habitually licks and grooms himself.

1. The enormous ears? Steroids.