Insulting Quotes

INSULTS FOR ALL OCCASIONS

When you pass away and people ask me what the cause of your death was, I'll say your stupidity.

You're the best at all you do---and all you do is make people hate you.

The thing that terrifies me the most is that someone might hate me as much as I loathe you.

When you get run over by a car it shouldn't be listed under accidents.

Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.

I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.

You were born because your mother didn't believe in abortion; now she believes in infanticide.

Yours was an unnatural birth; you came from a human being.

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

I would like the pleasure of your company but it only gives me displeasure.

You've never been outspoken; no one has ever been able to.

If you ever tax your brain....ask for change.

It's your life---but I wish you'd trade it in for a rusty Swiss army knife.

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would not eat.

May you live another day or two.

I admire you because you have the courage it takes to be a liar, a thief and a cheat.

For a ' going away ' present you would be perfect.