Two
old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on their usual park bench one morning.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy
The 87 year old said 'Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies.'
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, 'Do you have any Jewish rye bread?'
She said, 'Yes, there's a whole shelf of it . Would you like some?'
He said, 'I want 5 loaves'.
She said, 'My goodness, 5 loaves...by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard'
He replied, 'I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this shit but me.'
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I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new Dentist I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy, with the same name, had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Fairview high school.
'Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a bulldog,' he gleamed with pride. 'When did you graduate?' I asked.
He answered, in 1975. Why do you ask?'
'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked, 'what did you teach???
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While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.
As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this.
The 87 year old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of breath. The 80 year old was amazed at his friend's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy
The 87 year old said 'Well, I eat Jewish rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies.'
So, on the way home, the 80 year old stops at the bakery. As he was looking around, the lady asked if he needed any help. He said, 'Do you have any Jewish rye bread?'
She said, 'Yes, there's a whole shelf of it . Would you like some?'
He said, 'I want 5 loaves'.
She said, 'My goodness, 5 loaves...by the time you get to the 5th loaf, it'll be hard'
He replied, 'I can't believe it, everybody in the world knows about this shit but me.'
---------------------------
I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new Dentist I noticed his DDS diploma, which bore his full name.
Suddenly, I remembered a tall, handsome, dark-haired boy, with the same name, had been in my high school class some 30-odd years ago. Could he be the same guy that I had a secret crush on, way back then? Upon seeing him, however, I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Fairview high school.
'Yes. Yes, I did. I'm a bulldog,' he gleamed with pride. 'When did you graduate?' I asked.
He answered, in 1975. Why do you ask?'
'You were in my class!' I exclaimed.
He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald, wrinkled, fat ass, gray-haired, decrepit son-of-a-bitch asked, 'what did you teach???
------------------------
While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass.
As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this.
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