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Monday, February 22, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

On his honeymoon, a very thick redneck farmer, Billy Joe, insisted on having a room at the luxury hotel with a balcony overlooking the sea.

On retiring for the night after the wedding, his new bride emerged from the bathroom dressed in some very sexy lingerie.

"Hey Billy Joe, come in off the balcony and see what I have waiting for you to savor for the first time" she said coyly.

"No thanks, I want to sit out here," he said.

So Daisy sat down brushing her golden hair for 10 minutes after which she invited Billy Joe once more to come in off the balcony to take pleasure of her virginal body. Once more he refused. Eventually Daisy grew tired of waiting and she retired to the wedding bed and fell asleep.

In the morning, she awoke to find him still sitting on the balcony.

"Why did you spend the whole night out there when you could have been making love all night?" she asked.

"Well my pa said the first night of my marriage would be the most beautiful night of my whole life - and I didn't want to miss a moment of it."


An old man was enjoying his hundredth birthday party when a reporter approached him and asked, "Sir, what is the secret of your longevity?"

The old man thought for a moment, then replied, "Well, young man, every evening at 7PM I have a glass of red wine. They say it's good for the heart, you know."

"That's it?" asked the reporter.

"That," the old man said, "and cancelling my voyage on the Titanic."

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