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Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Funny: Some jokes

Two mothers were talking about their sons.

The first said, "My son is such a saint. He works hard, doesn't smoke, and he hasn't so much as looked at a woman in over two years."

The other woman said, "Well, my son is a saint himself. Not only hasn't he not looked at a woman in over three years, but he hasn't touched a drop of liquor in all that time."

"My word," the first mother said. "You must be so proud."

"I am," the second mother replied. "And when he's paroled next month, I'm going to throw him a big party."


A priest and a rabbi found themselves sharing a compartment on a train.

After a while, the priest put down his book and opened a conversation by saying, "I know that in your religion,
you're not supposed to eat pork... but have you really never even tasted it?"

The rabbi closed his newspaper and responded, "I must tell you the truth. Yes, I have, on the odd occasion."

The rabbi had his turn of interrogation: "I know that in your religion, you're supposed to be celibate, but..."

The priest interjected, "Yes, I know what you are going to ask, and yes, I have succumbed to temptation once or

The two resumed their reading. It was silent for a while.

Then the rabbi peeked around his newspaper with a smile and said, "Better than pork, isn't it?"


A woman in my office, recently divorced after years of marriage, signed up for a refresher course in CPR.

"Is it hard to learn?" asked someone.

"Not at all," my co-worker replied. "All you're asked to do is breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any problems. I did that for 32 years."

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